in whatever circumstance

i went to starbucks tonight
working on a exegetical paper on a few verses in philippians
drinking my nice hot tea
wearing my nice comfy hoody
adding honey to my tea
laughing with friends

walking back to school
stopping at walgreens to buy chocolate

we walked through a park on the way back to school...how quickly what i have immersed myself in only moments before vanishes from my mind.

philippians 4
"being content in whatever circumstances"
i walk through the park
i am content
i have so much
more than i ever needed
i walk through the park and see
a
man sleeping on a bench
no blanket
just an old coat
worn jeans

i laugh with my friends
eating the chocolate covered almonds and caramels we have just bought
we stand and talk only a few feet away from the man

i glance over at the man on the bench
he is asleep
arms crossed to hold the warmth in
alone on the bench
alone in the park

i take a bag of chocolate covered peanuts over to the man
he doesn't stir
his breathing is heavy, consistent...
his shoes are neatly placed under the bench
clean, polished shoes
i set the bag of peanuts down by his shoes
as i reach down i am closer to him
and i feel as though in that moment i have tried to grasp what it means to love your neighbor
and this half-eaten bag of peanuts is my feeble attempt at something that i don't truely understand

i almost want him to wake up
to share so much more with him than a walgreens brand bag of candy
but i dread him awakening as well
because i would have to explain myself
it is easier to have less interaction
easier...but less rich
less deep

he continues to sleep
i pause as i leave, unsure if what i have just done is absurd or good or not likely to make a difference.
my friends and i walk back to school

i don't give the man on the bench a second thought
until now
i am the only one awake in my room
with heat in the dorm, my computer, a fridge of food
my comfy hoody
my warm bed

and tomorrow when i wake up
i will write a paper
on being content in whatever circumstances
"for i have learned in whatever situation i am to be content. i know how to be brought low, and i know how to abound. in any and every circumstance, i have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. i can do all things through him who strenghtens me..."

tomorrow i will write a paper...i will do word studies

and try to understand what it means to be content.

in whatever circumstance.