so, all my few and faithful readers. i am starting a new blog. (kind of like starting a new journal)
i guess it is symbolic of a new era
or maybe i just wanted to make my own template.
either way, my new blog is
www.livethelifethatunfolds.blogspot.com
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
sitting in the kalamazoo train station...
sitting in the kalamazoo train station this morning. surrounded by an eccentric mosaic. business people on their way into the city for something important. blackberry and laptop in hand. stoic expressions. then there is the clingy boyfriend and girlfriend, unashamedly making out right before he leaves to catch his bus. she puts the hoody on of her printed forever 21 sweatshirt. makeup dissolves genuine depth or expression. the man with the blue dimpled sweater and plaid collared shirt contentedly reads the morning paper. jovial as he converses with the conductor and the passengers he happens to be near. there is also a group of guys. baggy jeans. huge jackets.
and then, amidst this strange concoction of bored, discontent faces are a couple of children. probably four and six years old. a little boy and girl. their mom is tired. hardened. you can almost see the trials under her eyes.
unkept hair, empty expression. she watches her children passively, only interacting with them to yell or rebuke.
the train station seems an empty, hollow inconvenience. waiting for the train which is later than expected. merely sitting. observing. everyone tired
but not the children. the them the station is another world to explore. they run and jump on vacant benches. the hardwood a slide, glossy and inviting.
the seats by the ceiling high windows are an obstacle course.
there is adventure to be found here.
they run back and forth, touching the textures of the walls, laughing...they stop only because they are enthralled by the giant globe-shaped light on the ceiling or the trusses that branch above the canopy of the world.
their mother snaps at them to keep their feet off the benches. but it does not stifle their spirit. she yells at them half-heartedly, because part of her thinks she shouldn't let her children run unchecked in a public place, and perhaps the rest of her doesn't really care because she is so worn.
i sit, observing. wanting to run around with the little girl as she jumps from floor tile to floor tile.
there is a giant compass painted on the floor. i notice it because of the cardinal directions. and i am somewhat impatiently waiting to go west, my thoughts directed to the journey about to commence, and about the destination of the city, and about my week, my next few months, my next few years.
she notices the compass, too. but it is because of the shapes and the colors. the way it ties into the enchantment of the old train station waiting room.
and she runs around the circle, stepping on north, south, east, and west. she is waiting to go somewhere, too. but she is caught up in the beauty of this place. she soaks it in.
and my discontent eyes that at first saw only the mundane,
begin to catch a glimpse of the magical...
and then, amidst this strange concoction of bored, discontent faces are a couple of children. probably four and six years old. a little boy and girl. their mom is tired. hardened. you can almost see the trials under her eyes.
unkept hair, empty expression. she watches her children passively, only interacting with them to yell or rebuke.
the train station seems an empty, hollow inconvenience. waiting for the train which is later than expected. merely sitting. observing. everyone tired
but not the children. the them the station is another world to explore. they run and jump on vacant benches. the hardwood a slide, glossy and inviting.
the seats by the ceiling high windows are an obstacle course.
there is adventure to be found here.
they run back and forth, touching the textures of the walls, laughing...they stop only because they are enthralled by the giant globe-shaped light on the ceiling or the trusses that branch above the canopy of the world.
their mother snaps at them to keep their feet off the benches. but it does not stifle their spirit. she yells at them half-heartedly, because part of her thinks she shouldn't let her children run unchecked in a public place, and perhaps the rest of her doesn't really care because she is so worn.
i sit, observing. wanting to run around with the little girl as she jumps from floor tile to floor tile.
there is a giant compass painted on the floor. i notice it because of the cardinal directions. and i am somewhat impatiently waiting to go west, my thoughts directed to the journey about to commence, and about the destination of the city, and about my week, my next few months, my next few years.
she notices the compass, too. but it is because of the shapes and the colors. the way it ties into the enchantment of the old train station waiting room.
and she runs around the circle, stepping on north, south, east, and west. she is waiting to go somewhere, too. but she is caught up in the beauty of this place. she soaks it in.
and my discontent eyes that at first saw only the mundane,
begin to catch a glimpse of the magical...
Thursday, November 06, 2008
50 years ago african americans had separate drinking fountains and the back seat in the bus.
this week an african american man became president of the united states.
no matter who i voted for
or who you voted for
or what your stance is
that is pretty awesome.
watch this. don't forget.
this week an african american man became president of the united states.
no matter who i voted for
or who you voted for
or what your stance is
that is pretty awesome.
watch this. don't forget.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
i do not have faith in humanity. i have even less faith in politicians.
this isn't about who i think people should or should not vote for. this is about what i think our perspective needs to be when looking at politics. [this is not about my view of obama. this is about how i have seen people view obama (esp. in chicago)].
watch this video
i am ready for this election to be over. i realize that this video was not made by obama or his campaign. but i think it is very telling of the perspective of the masses in america.
first of all:
i get the impression that people are feeling oppressed.
they want change.
they want a "savior" from something.
so what is it that they are looking for salvation from?
yes. there are of course areas where the government and the way that it is run can be changed. there are major flaws. corruption. waste. i have spent time in the urban poor and rural poor communities. i am not saying everything is as it should be. far from it.
but i have also spent time in places where there is no water.
no electricity. no educational opportunities at all. i have sat in an understaffed orphanage, pulled a rusty thumbtack out of a little girl's mouth, and wondered if i was the only person to hold her...really hold her...that day.
there are other places i have not been, where children are brainwashed to be soldiers to survive.
there are places where women are forced by their families into prostitution to appease the gods.
where there is no food.
where governments kill those who do not hold to a certain religion.
where children scrounge in the garbage dump every day, not just some of the children, but all of the children in the entire community.
places where candidates do not care one bit to serve their people...and they don't even try or pretend to care.
i am tired of americans acting as if we have no rights, as if we have no opportunities, as if we are "hopeless."
why can't we just have a normal election?
secondly:
i believe that we are constantly aching for eternity. for that ideal world. for perfection. and that will not be achieved by any politician, nor by any government.
we want to ascribe hope to the tangible. to that which is immediate.
but this world is tainted. it is fallen. humanity cannot fully redeem it.
and while we struggle and work to "make this world a better place" let us not get caught up in the lie that we will be fulfilled this side of eternity.
i voted. i have my opinions. but i am not afraid if "the other guy" wins. to be honest, i won't even be that upset. because my hope is not in the person that i cast my ballot for.
perspective.
watch this video
i am ready for this election to be over. i realize that this video was not made by obama or his campaign. but i think it is very telling of the perspective of the masses in america.
first of all:
i get the impression that people are feeling oppressed.
they want change.
they want a "savior" from something.
so what is it that they are looking for salvation from?
yes. there are of course areas where the government and the way that it is run can be changed. there are major flaws. corruption. waste. i have spent time in the urban poor and rural poor communities. i am not saying everything is as it should be. far from it.
but i have also spent time in places where there is no water.
no electricity. no educational opportunities at all. i have sat in an understaffed orphanage, pulled a rusty thumbtack out of a little girl's mouth, and wondered if i was the only person to hold her...really hold her...that day.
there are other places i have not been, where children are brainwashed to be soldiers to survive.
there are places where women are forced by their families into prostitution to appease the gods.
where there is no food.
where governments kill those who do not hold to a certain religion.
where children scrounge in the garbage dump every day, not just some of the children, but all of the children in the entire community.
places where candidates do not care one bit to serve their people...and they don't even try or pretend to care.
i am tired of americans acting as if we have no rights, as if we have no opportunities, as if we are "hopeless."
why can't we just have a normal election?
secondly:
i believe that we are constantly aching for eternity. for that ideal world. for perfection. and that will not be achieved by any politician, nor by any government.
we want to ascribe hope to the tangible. to that which is immediate.
but this world is tainted. it is fallen. humanity cannot fully redeem it.
and while we struggle and work to "make this world a better place" let us not get caught up in the lie that we will be fulfilled this side of eternity.
i voted. i have my opinions. but i am not afraid if "the other guy" wins. to be honest, i won't even be that upset. because my hope is not in the person that i cast my ballot for.
perspective.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
feed the birds.
she does exist.
i saw her a couple of days ago at the park.
but she wasn't what i expected.
black jacket with red accents.
black skirt. stockings.
clean polished shoes.
classy.
refined.
eccentric.
knitted tan beret on her well-kept short gray hair.
red flowers on her hat.
perfectly matched.
white fluffy dog.
red leash.
a bag of bread she pulled out of her purse.
and i watched as she went up to a tree with an unusual low hanging branch.
a branch with shelves.
a branch that knows her well, that has maybe known her for years and years.
and she broke of chunks of bread while her little dog watched, carefully and deliberately placed the bread on the crevices of the overhanging branch and said sweetly:
"dinnertime."
a few more pieces of bread.
"dinnertime!"
and first a few, then several small and kind birds flew to the branch from the surrounding trees where I am sure they often come to wait for their supper.
i saw her a couple of days ago at the park.
but she wasn't what i expected.
black jacket with red accents.
black skirt. stockings.
clean polished shoes.
classy.
refined.
eccentric.
knitted tan beret on her well-kept short gray hair.
red flowers on her hat.
perfectly matched.
white fluffy dog.
red leash.
a bag of bread she pulled out of her purse.
and i watched as she went up to a tree with an unusual low hanging branch.
a branch with shelves.
a branch that knows her well, that has maybe known her for years and years.
and she broke of chunks of bread while her little dog watched, carefully and deliberately placed the bread on the crevices of the overhanging branch and said sweetly:
"dinnertime."
a few more pieces of bread.
"dinnertime!"
and first a few, then several small and kind birds flew to the branch from the surrounding trees where I am sure they often come to wait for their supper.
Friday, September 19, 2008
trees and chaff
darkness. it seems so suffocating. impossible to penetrate with light, let alone destroy it. it is so rooted in everything...strangling and entwining so many things, even the beautiful are tainted.
even the good most often comes with the bad.
and it is unbreakable.
and goodness seems to be the one under water
frantically kicking, scrambling, gasping for breath
about to be engulfed and killed by evil.
and i believe this lie.
because i have put permanence on the temporary
and given weight to the opacity of now
"for the wicked are like chaff" will blow away
the deeds of darkness unsustainable
unremembered
in the white hot light of Goodness, of Truth, of Judgment and Grace
the righteous trees are planted by the River of Life
roots immersed in rich, cool water
true substance. fruitful.
and through this eternal lens i am reminded that while even the smallest light can extinguish and disrupt a world of dark,
the greatest darkness can never extinguish even a spark.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
3 days. 40 hours of driving. So worth it.
myself and three friends piled into a crv at 3 am friday morning. our destination: houston, tx. we started out strong, with a slight detour into duncan donuts to grab some coffee. after some inquisitive looks from the workers, and equipped with coffee and muffin in hand, we started out strong again.
things i learned on the way down.
1. there is absolutely nothing in oklahoma
2. i need to update my music collection. (i was the only one who brought music, and since i haven't bought anything in years and years we were forced to listen to music that was popular 10 years ago. however, the blast from the past kept the morale up).
3. gas is way cheaper in the middle of nowhere where stations are few and far between. gas is more expensive in the big cities where there are stations everywhere...does this seem backwards?
4. always road trip with cool people (which we did) our trip was full of silliness and depthful conversations.
5. beware of pranks your friends may pull on you when you are in the gas station bathroom. (they put a life size cardboard cut out of a nascar man right outside the door).
the wedding was in houston on saturday, so on friday we stopped in dallas for the night. my friend's friend's parents live there in an awesome house (we had our own showers in our rooms, and they fed us wonderful food). also, we were spoiled by being able to use their hot tub and pool after a long day of driving.
we awoke the next morning, and another friend met up with us in dallas to ride with us to houston
4 hours later
we quickly change into our dresses, and watch beautiful loren get married.
unfortunately, we got the giggle in the middle of the vows, but were able to keep it together until the end of the ceremony.
the wedding was beautiful and tasteful, and it was strange to see so many moodies there so far away from chicago.
we got back to dallas at 4 am on sunday (barely awake, near car accident with a drunk driver) and left at 10 am to get back to chicago.
things i learned on the way back
1. what the restaurant "sonic" is. i had never heard of it. am i the only one?
2. it is fun to listen to celtic music at sunset
3. you can reprank your friends with the same prank they did to you at the same gas station bathroom.
4. you cannot purchase life size card board cut outs of nascar drivers at gas stations. (i asked if we could buy it, unfortunately there will be an auction that we will miss...nascar man will go to the highest bidder...sad i won't be there).
5. i spent less than $100 to go to texas for the week-end with some of my favorite people in the world.
things i learned on the way down.
1. there is absolutely nothing in oklahoma
2. i need to update my music collection. (i was the only one who brought music, and since i haven't bought anything in years and years we were forced to listen to music that was popular 10 years ago. however, the blast from the past kept the morale up).
3. gas is way cheaper in the middle of nowhere where stations are few and far between. gas is more expensive in the big cities where there are stations everywhere...does this seem backwards?
4. always road trip with cool people (which we did) our trip was full of silliness and depthful conversations.
5. beware of pranks your friends may pull on you when you are in the gas station bathroom. (they put a life size cardboard cut out of a nascar man right outside the door).
the wedding was in houston on saturday, so on friday we stopped in dallas for the night. my friend's friend's parents live there in an awesome house (we had our own showers in our rooms, and they fed us wonderful food). also, we were spoiled by being able to use their hot tub and pool after a long day of driving.
we awoke the next morning, and another friend met up with us in dallas to ride with us to houston
4 hours later
we quickly change into our dresses, and watch beautiful loren get married.
unfortunately, we got the giggle in the middle of the vows, but were able to keep it together until the end of the ceremony.
the wedding was beautiful and tasteful, and it was strange to see so many moodies there so far away from chicago.
we got back to dallas at 4 am on sunday (barely awake, near car accident with a drunk driver) and left at 10 am to get back to chicago.
things i learned on the way back
1. what the restaurant "sonic" is. i had never heard of it. am i the only one?
2. it is fun to listen to celtic music at sunset
3. you can reprank your friends with the same prank they did to you at the same gas station bathroom.
4. you cannot purchase life size card board cut outs of nascar drivers at gas stations. (i asked if we could buy it, unfortunately there will be an auction that we will miss...nascar man will go to the highest bidder...sad i won't be there).
5. i spent less than $100 to go to texas for the week-end with some of my favorite people in the world.
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